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About Varied / Hobbyist Member MonacoMac28/Male/United States Group :iconteamkerfluffle: TeamKerfluffle
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Deviant for 4 Years
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Mac here. I was a little afraid to log on. I don't know why. I've just been gone so long, but I'm here now and still alive.
I'm feeling a little better about things. Having occasional moments of depression like many, but nothing too serious.  I haven't read all of my messages on here yet, but I will be doing that starting tonight. As for writing, I took a long time to grow as a person before even attempting anymore of that and I think it was a good decision. I have the latest chapter of Stage Fright practically done now and like always, I'd like to apologize to those that got interested in the story only for me to leave them hanging on waiting for many months. Hopefully as a result, I will have a new perspective that can benefit the story. Thanks for not forgetting about me and I've missed being on DA and chatting with people on here. As soon as I polish up chapter 17 of Stage Fright a little bit, I'll be ready to post it. Hopefully soon.
My grandmother died a few days ago. I spent nearly all my time with her. I'd say I spent more time with her than anyone which makes it even harder since many people don't get the privilege of spending so much time with a grandparent. I had this posted on a personal page, but I thought I might as well share it here to let my friends know what's going on.

I couldn't even go to the funeral so I sat in the car... I have social anxiety so I should have known that sitting in the car would draw more attention to myself. I just knew if I went into the building I would feel claustrophobic and stuck there with all those images of the past and all those people.

Funerals may help some, but they don't help me. I don't want to see anyone dead, No open casket. I don't want to think of death unless it's a crime scene that someone is trying to solve to help someone. I don't even want to see photos of someone close to me right after they have died. I'm tired of people saying she's in a better place and I know they mean well... but frankly... a better place is with family. Call me selfish. I wish I hadn't even gone to my best friend Ron's funeral either. I know they would understand. I knew both of them almost as well as I knew myself and I know they wouldn't want me to do anything that I wasn't comfortable with. I'm glad the family understood my stance. I was worried what they would think of me.

I'm just glad that a funeral helps some people, but I don't expect I'll ever be able to go to another one. I don't like making myself feel sad and that's what a funeral does for me. I'm perfectly fine being in denial. I like thinking of people in the living and of the good times. Forget acceptance or closure. That's how I cope.

Sorry I've been gone so long. I've missed you all on here.



Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
●▬▬▬๑۩۩๑▬▬▬●For visiting my page.●▬▬๑۩۩๑▬▬▬▬●

Welcome to Mac's page.

Note: Sorry, but I'm not taking requests or commissions right now because I'm already far behind with my art and writing.

If you got a llama from me and are wondering why, I'm just giving them out to people in the same groups as myself as a way to see lots of cool pages that I might have skipped over.
I am a huge fan of Star Trek TOS, Sherlock, Xena, The Simpsons as well as a few other series and I've written several fanfics on (link below) I'm mainly here to post fanfiction, fanart and photography.

A few things about me:

I'm not very social and normally avoid people like the plague, but I'm nice whenever I can be so I'm definitely not a jerk. :) I also become totally engrossed in whatever obsession that currently strikes my interest and I'm incredibly OCD most of the time. I'm not good with acronyms or text-speak, so sorry if I'm unresponsive to it. I like writing, gaming, drawing fanart and making fanvids in my free time.

Ravenclaw House STAMP by CrystalLynnblud

I have had to post my Bort fanvids to a new account on Youtube as unlisted... so here are the links if you want to view them.

Bort: I love the Way you Lie:

Bort: Getting Away with Murder:

Bort: Head Like a Hole:


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AtomicDexter Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I loved your fanfic Bloodlust and Synergy.

I was curious if you were planning a sequel to it where they do get married?
MonacoMac Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Some time in the future I might.  I'm not sure what the sequel will be entirely, but I have a few ideas. Since I'm not good with marriage and think it's boring and a little too fluffy for my tastes, it might focus on other aspects like mystery, slash and drama for the two. If I do add them getting married it won't be the focus, but it's definitely an idea to keep in mind.
Rainbow-Heresys Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
It seems you've haven't been online for awhile

Hopefully you'll come back soon! Love your work~!
MonacoMac Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm back to check my messages. I've been going through some stressful times, but I think I'm doing okay now. I really should log on more often even if it's just to say hello.
Rainbow-Heresys Featured By Owner 6 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm sorry for what happened to you i'm really am. I've been going through hard times as well. I think you should to that'll be great! ;w;
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